My not so secret crush!

So I am totally crushing, and I'll give you three guesses to who it is on.

No, it's not Taylor Latuner
Nope, not Shia Labeouf either
It's not even Brad Pitt

It's my husband!!
I realized that I've been crushing on my husband and here are the signs that prove it.

Clue #1: When he walks by me I can't help but stare, and admire him.
Clue #2: When he tells me he’ll be home soon, I get butterflies and really excited.
Clue #3: I try to look cute for him when he comes home.
Clue #4: When he leaves I feel sad.
Clue #5: I think of ways to make him happy all day. Ex: his favorite foods for dinner, folding his laundry, putting the TV on Sports Center, etc.
Clue #6: When I’m falling asleep or first waking up, I imagine us running away together (Lame I know, but true).

So I guess it’s a good thing that my crush is on someone that I get to have forever! I know this is a lame blog, but I can’t help that I am totally in love with my best friend and sweetheart!!

I’m pretty lucky.

Kitchen Memories

This is my first year having my own neighbors, so I was excited to make my very own “neighbor treats” for Christmas. My mom has an awesome recipe for Toffee, so she talked me into making it. I see now that she had devised the plan for revenge right from the start. You see, years ago when I was a ornery, hormone-raging teenager I had a little tantrum. Also pertinent to the story is that fact that I hadn’t grown since I was in third grade. I wore tall wooden shoes (that my mother bought for me)and long pants, to give the illusion that I wasn’t as short as I really was. ANYWAY, I was having an irrational tantrum, when I made a kicking motion at my sister. Well, the big old wooden shoe came off and hit my mom right in the forehead. I felt so bad and was so embarrassed that I ran away and cried for hours, I was too prideful to say sorry right then. I’m sure my mom saw that as me not caring. She had a black eye and huge goose egg.
I’ve always felt bad for that.
Apparently so has my mom.
So my mom and I are making Toffee and you have to heat the sugar up to 300 degrees. I was surprised how long it took because water doesn’t take long to boil, but this was very much hotter than water boiling. I was stirring it often like the instructions called for, and when it hit 300 I poured it on the cookie sheet to harden. I hadn’t even started pouring when I felt a searing pain on my wrist. Keeping my wits I put the pot back down carefully and flung my wrist away from the scorching heat. My first instinct was to grab the burn, but as I did, my left hand started to burn. I pulled it off to see that the sizzling candy was still there continuously burning more and more flesh.
I yanked the molten candy off my arm and held the burn. We are not taught to do this, we are taught to put it under cold water. Well, I was taught to hold a burn. My mom told me to put it under cold water, but I knew better. I held it with tears welling up in my eyes. I had experience with burns and knew that it hurt to hold it, but it would be worth it. My mother rushed to our Aloe Vera plant to cut off a piece. She split it open with a knife and spread the naturally cool, healing, gel onto my owie. That was the only time I let go of it. My brain kept telling me to release the pressure, but I didn’t, I held strong. About 20 minutes later I finally let go. It was red where I had been holding and slowly little blisters started to form.
I thought I had failed, because I was under the impression that if I was to hold it, it wouldn’t leave a mark. This has always worked for me, and I lost a little faith in the procedure, UNTIL I got online and read some stories about candy/toffee/sugar burns. Some people go to the hospital and can have Third Degree Burns! One woman doesn’t have use of her hand, another almost lost blood flow to her hand, and another needed a skin graft. All these things considered, I feel like my knowledge of burn care took an ugly situation and flipped it for good.
So I know my mom didn’t really want me to get burned, but I somehow thought that if I linked the two stories, it would ease my conscience about the whole shoe-in-the-eye incident.
It didn’t work.

I'm So Lucky!

So I have the best Husband EVER!!
A couple of days ago I had a really bad day and my cute husband came home with these bad boys for me:
Isn’t he the best?

If only I could hide my face like an Ostrich!

I was substitute teaching my little brother Aaron’s class last week and a little boy came up and asked if he could use the restroom. I said, “You can go when she gets back.” and the ‘she’ said, “You mean ‘He’.” I was confused and said, “She asked first, and then you can go.” looking back to the little boy. Again the ‘she’ said, “You mean ‘He’.”
I was as confused as you probably are. The whole class was staring at me, and my little brother, sitting two feet away, started laughing. I realized just then that the ‘she’ was a ‘he’ and ‘he’ was correcting me. I was so embarrassed. I tried to cover it up and just dug myself deeper. I finally just said, “You can go after HE gets back.” That seemed to pacify the class, but Aaron was still snickering at my uncomfortableness. I glared my baby brother down, but couldn’t help but laugh myself.
Oops.
The funny thing is, that his name is Tristan and he was wearing boy clothes. Earlier in the day I made mental notes, like: “Hmm… I thought Tristan was a boy’s name” and “She sure dresses like a boy” Those clues should have tipped me off that it was a boy, but for some reason they didn’t and I made a fool of myself.

Morning Sickness

So about once a month since I got pregnant, I throw up all day long. Last time this happened I was at my brothers’ wrestling meet at Alta High. I was sitting in the bleachers when it hit. I rushed to the hall and asked an Alta Cheerleader where the bathroom was. She told me it was my first left. I walked very briskly to the first left and it branched both ways. I chose the door on the right because I was already there and it was coming out. I covered my mouth but it was coming. I ran in and noticed a row of urinals. Oh well, I thought, it’s too late now. I ran into the first stall. Of course it was clogged, but I couldn’t turn around now. I finally let it all out into the toilet and as more came I heard someone using the urinals. I barfed a few more times and figured the kid out there was gone by now. I came out of the stall to see a 10 year old boy grimacing at me. I mumbled…pregnant and…didn’t know it was the boys. I ran to the girl’s bathroom to clean the barf from my pants, coat and face from when I almost didn’t make it.
It all ended up being okay because no one came up to me and accused me of being a pervert for being in the wrong bathroom.

I hate Junior High

I usually substitute for Elementary kids because most of them are shorter than me. In this poor economy I excepted a job at the Junior High. Big Mistake. I was the sub for Girls Gym. It might sound fun, but I was so nauseous that I couldn’t even play the games with them. They were all taller than me, and they were all snots. I hate Junior High, and even more than that I hate Junior High girls.
To get to the point, I had a little office in the locker room where I kept my purse and coat. I kept this room locked because students aren’t allowed in there. There was one class period where I had two student aids. One was a Polynesian girl and she just sat in the office. When I went to lock it she told me she usually just sits in there. I figured whatever, I’ll be the cool sub.
At the end of the class I came into the office and she had the rap music way too loud. I went to grab some crackers out of my purse and some of my stuff was on the ground. I figured I must have kicked it. I’m so naïve.
At lunch time I went to get the lunch money Matt had given to me that morning. It just so happened that I put it in the same pocket that had mysteriously “spilled” earlier. I felt so stupid. I had trusted that girl to sit in the office and she steals a measly two dollars.
I talked to the vice principal and he told me she was a “hard student.” Code for “she’s been to my office before and she’s a trouble maker.”
I guess the worst part wasn’t that I wouldn’t get my two bucks back, it was when I found out that the girl is in my parents’ ward.